Editors’ Note: The following poem by Amir Ferdjani is part of the notebook I Want Sky, collecting prose, poems, and hybrid work celebrating Egyptian activist Sarah Hegazy, and the lives of all LGBTQ+ Arabs and people of the SWANA region and its diaspora. Edited by Mariam Bazeed and published as a part of a partnership with Mizna, the notebook will also be available as a print issue this summer, including pieces exclusive to that format. Continue reading work published in this series here.

arab spring forcing its way
—unlubed—
up my ass
probing for evidence
// of my lost virginity

pigs say
prayer pose, examine the hole
as if their nation’s virtue lies
beyond a sphincter

desperate
we deceived ourselves
this time it will be different
fooled by the coldest winter disguised
as spring, afraid
we hid
labelled ourselves
FAGGOTS, before anyone else
could 

FAGGOTS until we’re
judged by
         murmurs, looks, slurs
raped with
         dicks, bottles, police batons
killed in the name of
         patriarchy, fascism, religion
FAGGOTS until we’re
forced to flee and realize
we’re too brown for pink
perversion

FAGGOTS until we avenge
                  Marwan
                  Rania
                  Sarah
and countless others
imprisoned and killed

arab spring forcing its way
—unlubed—
up my ass
probing for evidence
// finding its own bigotry