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First Place: Mic Nguyen, “Supplemental Instructions”

“Assume the fish are swimming in clean, pollution-free water. Assume any cloudiness to be a consequence of naturally occurring solvents or debris.”

By Mic Nguyen

Writer’s Note: This is an entry for all of the questions. A sort of meta-answer. You’ll get the idea.

Supplementary instructions for free response questions, National Higher Education Entrance Examination (colloquially the “Gaokao”). 2012 June administration:

For question 1: Assume the person in the story to have designer shirt and shoes. Please specify which brand it is, and from what season. Explain how the wearer uses said item in a social context to express a burgeoning sense of outward prosperity, and how this relates to current national monetary policy.

For question 2: Assume that Old Man Ji lives in a nearby dormitory, and that he is one of thousands of other, nearly identical workers assigned to guarding the railroad track. Assume that, when the train comes by, he is already 10 hours into his normal 18 hour workday, part of his normal 100 hour work week. How does this effect the quality and frequency of his salutations? Bonus point opportunity: explain how any request for overtime would be counterproductive to national and personal good.

For question 3: Assume the fish are swimming in clean, pollution-free water. Assume any cloudiness to be a consequence of naturally occurring solvents or debris in the water, and that nearby State-approved and inspected production facilities are not responsible for any cloudiness the fish may (allegedly) be experiencing.

For question 4: Please refer to Appendix 3B for a list of approved social media outlets and internet websites.

For question 5: Assume the ladder is on a State-sponsored and subsidized worksite. Explain how this needless use of signage as a way of promoting “safety” is a direct check to the growing economic prowess of China, and how international standards of “safety” are both wrongheaded and contradictory.