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I Invite God to a Film Screening

when i was six, / i scooped prayer into my palms, sipped / jesus’ sweat out of a soju bottle ten / years after. the prayer screamed / under my skin

Poetry
November 19, 2019

_______________________________________

lowercase g: if i’m gonna be super honest, i hated this
me: you wouldn’t if you caught all the metaphors
lowercase g: no i did i just don’t like them
me: you should learn to take criticism
me: who do you think you are?
me: jesus fuckingchrist
me: you deserved it
me: you’re not
even sorry

/

& his personas: father/son/holy ghost

to own a body tinfoiled in another’s
flesh—i was not ready to commit

the sin of being born. when i was six,
i scooped prayer into my palms, sipped

jesus’ sweat out of a soju bottle ten
years after. the prayer screamed

under my skin. it grew mad for a vessel
to gentrify, a creature skilled in salting

the synapses of children. how dare
you rinse away their freedom. the residue

a genesis of heavy lids or landscape
that bleeds teeth. reverse crucifixion

replays in my dreams as christian radio
rents out the brain. this is an open/

ended cry, lucifer’s self-insert psalm.
it’s a rough draft. or a fanfiction.

it has been written out according
to your fantasy. my mom’s friends

keep telling her to give christian
mingle a chance. my prayer promises

cold. will it save me before i regret
vacating my sanctity? douse me

in holy water? i wonder what kind
of shampoo god uses,

if he prefers morning showers
or plans to shower tonight

when we burn hymn books & cut
away gabriel’s marble feet, angel heads

rolling off statues, porcelain crushed to
compost. let’s baptize bugs against

their will. let lightning’s belly
illume the stained mother marys.

let’s strain light & leave
the church be: a glassen house

better built without walls. they serve
no purpose, god smiles. he’s talking

about my hands. how rare they fold.
how they needn’t—for anyone.

how light traps & diminishes
like a runaway bride on times square

throwing her bouquet to whoever’s
foolish enough to want it.