“I am deliberate / and afraid / of nothing.” Audre Lorde’s lines from her poem “New Year’s Day” have served as a charge and an inspiration to a month of national poetry programming titled “Poetry and Protest,” which Mizna and AAWW are a part of as members of the Poetry Coalition. This Thursday, March 26, the two orgs are joyfully co-hosting a reading with Andrea Abi-Karam, Romaissaa Benzizoune, and Sham-e-Ali Nayeem that will be live-streamed as a digital event on our Facebook page. A live-edited accessible copy of the program can be found at aaww.org/poetryprotestvirtual.

We invited the four readers who were originally scheduled to read at the in-person event (including Susan Muaddi Darraj) to contend with Lorde’s lines and answer a few related questions.

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Andrea Abi-Karam

@wolf_hour / @wolf_hour / @DYKEDRAMA

Q: What is your reaction to Audre Lorde’s lines, “I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.”

Lorde’s lines lead me to the slogan: stay safe / be dangerous that friends say to each other during moments and movements of upheaval, a reminder to trust each other and be fierce, fearless, and strategic.

Q: Resistance requires resilience. What are some ways you make space for joy and self-care?

I find revelry, pleasure and joy in my queerness aka the queer dancefloor, summer bike rides to Jacob Riis, collaboration, friendship and exhibitionism. I also find great joy in performing and organizing gigs among friends. My self-care modes look like the Bed-Stuy YMCA, sunlight and remembering to take time alone.

Q: What’s on your nightstand? In your earbuds?

I’ve been reading as much queer fiction and memoir as I can to inform the work of my first novel, a trashy punk romance escapade. I just finished Fierce Femmes & Notorious Liars by Kai Cheng Thom, have been slowly working through Jean Genet’s biography by Edmund White paired with Contagion’s edition of The Criminal Child by Jean Genet. I’m a DJ too, so always listening to new music, especially deep house, disco, grunge and punk.

 

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Romaissaa Benzizoune

@romaissa_b

Q: What is your reaction to Audre Lorde’s lines, “I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.”

I think whatever poetry I’m reading at the moment becomes a reflection of, or conversation with, whatever I’m going through at the moment.When I read these lines today, at this moment in time, I feel more moved to appreciate my own independence. These lines also make me think about what it might mean to live with intention (I am deliberate). But then again, does being deliberate mean living deliberately? On the theme of uncertainty, I love the line breaks in this portion of the poem. You can read the lines like this: i am deliberate / and afraid / of nothing. But you can also read them like this: i am deliberate / and afraid. / of nothing. If you read them like that there’s a bit of vulnerability there, a wavering, a breath in between the resoluteness. Although I could be projecting again.

Q: Resistance requires resilience. What are some ways you make space for joy and self-care?

The main way I practice self-care is by allowing myself to not care about time so much. This isn’t a “productive” approach, but I feel the happiest when I allow myself to lose track of time. I love wandering around the city and visiting my favorite haunts: a handful of bookstores, cafes, and thrift shops that I feel a connection to. I have the freedom to do this as a college student, and it saddens me to think that this may no longer be possible if I work a traditional job that allows me, say, health insurance. Capitalism is really the worst. Besides that, I also like to do yoga, go jogging, and create watercolor paintings that I place on my windowsill because secretly I want people to see them when they come in. They’re not great, but they’re very colorful.

Q: What’s on your nightstand? In your earbuds?

I’m reading a few things. First is a book called Snow White and Russian Red, the debut novel of Polish author Dorota Masłowska. I read another book by her, Honey I Killed the Cats, earlier this year. Magical realism meets pop culture meets a charming exploration of female friendship. No book has made me laugh that hard, or think that wistfully, in a long time. The feeling I felt when reading some of those passages—a section entirely devoted to describing a bald spot comes to mind—can only be reminiscent of childhood. I’m also reading Troubling Love by Elena Ferrante, and Witness to My Life: The Letters of Jean-Paul Sartre to Simone de Beauvoir (1926–1939). Last year I read most of a volume of letters from Beauvoir to Sarte (I read love letters every Valentine’s Day, it’s a whole thing) and this year I thought I’d do the reverse. I’m not a huge podcast person, but I’m currently listening to one called Why Won’t You Date Me by Nicole Byer. It’s absolutely hilarious.

 

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Susan Muaddi Darraj

@susandarraj / @susandarraj

Q: What is your reaction to Audre Lorde’s lines, “I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.”

This feels like the mantra of every woman of color in my life.

Q: Resistance requires resilience. What are some ways you make space for joy and self-care?

I cherish the quiet. I wake up very early every morning, at 4:30 am, just to have two hours for reflection and writing.

Q: What’s on your nightstand? In your earbuds?

I listen to the very lively Lit!Pop!Bang! podcast, as well as to a mix of classical Arabic, hip hop, and R&B music. Currently, I’m reading Andi Zeisler’s We Were All Feminists Once.

 

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Sham-e-Ali Nayeem

@solarshami / @sham_e_ali_nayeem

Q: What is your reaction to Audre Lorde’s lines, “I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.”

I start with intention. The niyat. And this is the seed of fearlessness.

Q: Resistance requires resilience. What are some ways you make space for joy and self-care?

Time in nature, prayer and meditation, water (baths, cleansing), reading, music, creating, singing, dancing, writing, making art. Time with those that I love. Breathing. Being in gratitude. Loving. And laughing (lots!). 

Q: What’s on your nightstand? In your earbuds?

Readings on my mobile nightstand (this list would be larger if I were home—I am with my family right now): 

Alexis Pauline Gumbs, Dub
Adeeba Shahid Talukder, Shahr-e-jaanaan
Eleanor Wilner, Before Our Eyes
Nnedi Okorafor, Binti
Airea D. Matthews, Simulacra
Solmaz Sherif, Look
June Jordan, Directed by Desire

Music in my earbuds—these are some artists I listened to today: 

Ayatul Kursi – Quran recitation
Alice Coltrane
Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan
John Coltrane
Prince
Okonkolo
Abida Parveen
Omar Sosa
IFE
Yseult
Arooj Aftab
Ornette Colman
Pharaoh Sanders
Sun Ra
Nina Simone
Sade
The Roots
Fatoumata Diawara
Petit Noir
Kraftwerk
Shenseea
Chronixx
Rhianna
BOSCO
Aya Nakamura
Cut Copy
Jai Paul
Quadron
Linton Kwesi Johnson
Rolex Rasathy
Yaz
Portishead
James Blake
Rodrigo Amarante